June 13, 2004

• I know last night happened.  I mean i wrote it down.  I remember conversions.  The results of last night are still in effect. But i wasn't there for them.  Physically, yes.  No idea where the other part was.  I had to pinch myself when i woke up this morning.  I had to dump water on my head.  And I'm still unconscious.

  
  

  But even in my unconscious state, today was interesting.  I spent about half of it staring at my computer screen and trying to figure out how to spell 'Naguamsett'.  Then i tried to make sunny-side up eggs.  Which was a huge mistake.  Basically, two chicks were slaughtered in their shell just for the sake of their gooey remains to be burnt and scraped off of a pan that had probably seen better days.  Well on the bright (or sunny) side, they were probably salmonella-free. 

  
  

  So after not eating breakfast, the plans i originally had for today got screwed up.  People couldn't make it.  The relatives are here.  Babysitting...sorry. Don't have a ride. You know, the usual excuses.  So i spent an extra hour laying in bed and contemplating where i went wrong in life.  No, kidding.  I was actually focusing on losing weight for the summer. So i had a box of fruit roll-ups, some fruit gushers, chocolate, nerds, and for calcium...two glasses of skim milk.  And a carrot smothered in ranch dip for my daily dose of vitamins, potassium, and saturated fat.  I can actually FEEL my eyesight improving. 

  
  

  Eventually i caught up with Jess and Beth and we all decided to be bored together.  We drove all the way to Gero park for Family Day.  Only to discover that Family Day died down about two hours before.  So we headed to the mall and ran into a few people along the way.  Including this six year old boy riding a little girl's tricycle.  I often understand situations.  But that one was beyond me.  Maybe the kid's parents got a kick out of it, i don't know.  All i know is that it's one thing to give your little girl a boy's name, like Daryl. It's one thing to buy your child teletubie-patched overalls for their ninth birthday and convince them that they are 'in'.  It's one thing to name your boy 'Jamie'.  It's another thing to give your little boy a girl's tricycle.  But that might just be me.  And no offence to all those male Jamies out there.

  
  

  So at the mall we spent five dollars on one caesar salad that we all shared.  Then we ate the makeup in Sephora.  And no, I'm not kidding.  It tasted pretty good for pure, dyed sugar.  The new Jessica Simpson Dessert brand.  Honestly, I really think they just took some Vanilla Betty Crocker Icing, added glitter, cackled "Haha.  Those stupid Sephora/ Simpson worshippers will never know the difference.  They'll buy anything that will make them feel sexy.  So that's why we'll write in pink script 'sexy girls have dessert' on every bottle.  But in reality they're just eating their own body weight in 1500 fat calories of lipgloss.  And it's all gonna go straight to their fat, gullible asses." then scooped it into a pink bottle.  And what do you know.  It is now worth forty-five dollars. 

  
  

  So after Sephora, we got picked up and went online for a little bit.  Then we saw The Stepford Wives, which was pretty okay. Except the ending was too mushy and happy.  Wasn't the old Stepford Wives a horror flick?  This one was more Disney than scary.  More haha than eek, if you know what i mean. But that's all fine with me.  I hate horror movies.  What's the point of them?  Why would i want to pay eleven dollars just to scream and shiver under my covers for seven months for fear of some made-up serial killer maniac cannibal coming to eat me?  Some ghost?  Some stalker? Why waste my time and my eleven dollars on a nightmare when i can see some flick that is just about screaming "LAUGH AT ME.  I'm funny!  Laugh!" Although forced humor can often be a horrific thing, it's nothing compared to serial killers and psycos.  Those are truly scary for me. But still.  Why do i even go the movies?  The last time i saw a movie in a theater that actually ended up surviving the test of time was The Lion King.  And back then i was young and stupid so i didn't exactly treasure the moment. Now it's just in the movie stores. Actually, why don't i just wait till all movies come out on video? What if i just did that?

  
  

  I hate it when i can answer my own hypothetical questions.

  
  

  So now its officially Sunday.  I hate Sundays.  It's like they think they're part of the weekend.  But they aren't.  They just aren't.  Sometimes i just want to sit down with Sunday and tell it straight up that it sucks.  That i don't spend it by frollicking around town with my pals.  I spend it studying.  I spend it loading up on every sugar-infested food in my refridgerator. I spend it wishing it were Friday.  I spend it dreading that it's only hours from Monday.  But i usually don't personify the days of the week.  I'm just very bored. And very tired.

  
  

  So maybe sleep would be a good idea.

  
  

  ~d

  • 1:43 am
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